God, Sex, & Rich People

Hey dudes! It’s 2017! PRAISE JEEBUS. We need a new year after 2016. Now if only we could keep January 20th, 2017 from actually happening… Last time we chatted, I was submersed in complete confusion about my religious views and fundamental identity because of that hot Jewish guy I met on Tinder. But I was also content with the fact that I didn’t have to know all the answers. I just had to, like, be nice to people while I tried to figure my shit out. Enter: Boy Monster. Boy Mon

Hey there everybody. Again, so sorry for the lack of writing. Did you know working at a theme park and having a boyfriend who will soon be leaving you forever kind of exhausts you and gives you huge FOMO and really the only other extra curricular you have time for is getting vehemently upset about Donald Trump on Facebook (and for this I am ashamed)? Well, it does. So that’s been my life. Oh and I decided to take a huge cross country trip to Hawaii. So I guess I’ve been enjoy

Hi there friends! Last time we spoke, I imparted some (sure-to-be) world famous wisdom regarding the okay-ness of losing your Vcard before marriage. Ya know, how Jesus doesn’t actually care if you keep that chastity belt locked. Well. It’s been 4 months since that entry and some real shit has gone down in our world that makes continuing to write this blog feel trivial and a waste of energy. Admittedly I have neglected writing because I feel there is so much trauma in our worl

The Jedi Returns Alrighty. I know it’s been about a million years since I’ve written. But between babysitting for 17 different families, moving to Central Harlem, and fighting the urge to stress eat pasta at 2am every night, I have hardly a moment to remember my underwear. Let alone stories about my ex-boyfriend or college escapades. But I’m back. Let’s see how this goes. Where were we. Ah, yes. I’ve just had my first big regrettable relationship experience witha spiritual p

So I’ve just broken up with the man of my dreams and I’m in the City of my dreams. I’m not sure what I expected from that trip to New York, but I can assure you, my experience far exceeded anything I could have imagined. Mostly because I was totally and completely blindsided by what I assume is maybe normal for people living in New York City, but not so much Hollister, Missouri. Mattie Jo Makes a New Friend First things first: Alcohol. Although I had turned 21, six months pri

I Mean Missouri (Sames) So my journey was complete. I ventured to the Big Apple to see a show I’d been waiting to see since age 14 and saw it! And now, sadly, had to return to Missouri. And look, I know I had SO much to look forward to back in Missouri such as my hot Catholic boyfriend, a McDonalds without homeless people, and a Bible study leader with a full 5 week lesson plan (complete with a stellar acronym. Bible study leaders LOVE acronyms) on why dating a Catholic will

I'm a college freshman, all liberated about now accepting the gays...